Lemony Snicket

Like a car alarm, bagpipe music, or a doorbell ringing in the middle of the night, hearing this all-new audio edition of The Bad Beginning will only upset you....

Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire are intelligent children. They are charming, and resourceful, and have pleasant facial features. Unfortunately, they are exceptionally unlucky....

If you are looking for a story about cheerful youngsters spending a jolly time at boarding school, look elsewhere....

If you have not read anything about the Baudelaire orphans, then before you read even one more sentence, you should know this: Violet, Klaus, and Sunny are kindhearted and quick-witted, but their lives, I am sorry to say, are filled with bad luck and misery....

Unless you are a slug, a sea anemone, or mildew, you probably prefer not to be damp....

This audio is the only one which describes every last detail of the Baudelaire children's miserable stay at Heimlich Hospital, which makes it one of the most dreadful audios in the world....

In a fading town, far from anyone he knew or trusted, a young Lemony Snicket began his apprenticeship in an organization nobody knows about....

Like handshakes or housepets, many things are preferable when not slippery....

The word "carnivorous", which appears in the title of this book, means "meat-eating", and once you have read such a bloodthirsty word, there is no reason to read any further....

This true story - as true as Lemony Snicket himself - begins with a puzzling note under his door: You had poison for breakfast. Following a winding trail of clues to solve the mystery of his own demise, Snicket takes us on a thought-provoking tour of his predilections....

I hope, for your sake, that you have not chosen to listen to this recording because you are in the mood for a pleasant experience....

Best-selling author Lemony Snicket (a.k.a. Daniel Handler) recently spoke with Beth Anderson, Audible's publisher, about A Series of Unfortunate Events....

Lemony Snicket returns with the last book before the last book of his New York Times best-selling A Series of Unfortunate Events....

Nobody in their right minds would listen to this particular book about the lives of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire on purpose, because each dismal moment of their stay at the village of V.F.D....

Like the previous books in A Series of Unfortunate Events, there is nothing to be heard here but misery, despair, and discomfort....

You are presumably looking here for clues to the shocking conclusion of this terminal audiobook, or the ending of the end....

13 Words: 1. Bird, 2. Despondent, 3. Cake, 4. Dog, 5. Busy, 6. Convertible, 7. Goat, 8. Hat, 9. Haberdashery, 10. Scarlet, 11. Baby, 12. Panache, 13. Mezzo-Soprano....

Before the Baudelaires became orphans, before he encountered A Series of Unfortunate Events, even before the invention of Netflix, Lemony Snicket was a boy discovering the mysteries of the world. Train travel! Murder! Librarians! A series finale! Listen to find out more....

The first volume in a two-part book series that invites you to match wits with Lemony Snicket and solve perplexing mini-mysteries....

Before the Baudelaires became orphans, before he encountered A Series of Unfortunate Events, even before the invention of Netflix, Lemony Snicket was a boy discovering the mysteries of the world....