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  • Not by Accident: Procrastination and Negative Character -Episode19

    Not by Accident: Procrastination and Negative Character -Episode19
    Jan 30 2025
    There are several -many more than we can count actually- character flaws that are common to any "normal" human. We are judgemental creatures who like to talk about the foibles and shortcomings of others. We would rather take an easy route than the higher and more difficult path. It is much easier and enjoyable to watch a movie or scroll mindlessly through social media posts than to engage in something productive like learning a musical instrument, writing a book or spending out time helping our neighbor fix their car. Ranking high on this list of negative attributes and threatening every one of us is the practice of procrastination. We put hard stuff off even if we know the day of reckoning will always eventually arrive. Those who are able to overcome this tendency accompish more, bless the world with their contribution, feel better about themselves, are often rewarded and find their life situations better than those who never seem to get around to "it" or because of their delay produce something that is shotty and much less than they are capable.
    The thing is, fixing procrastination is not rocket science. It is simply having the discipline to do some of the hard work first, now. The beauty is how this builds self-respect, confidence and very frequently is met with praise and reward,
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    10 Min.
  • Not by Accident: Is it Worth the Price -Episode 18

    Not by Accident: Is it Worth the Price -Episode 18
    Jan 22 2025
    Everything we do or want has a price. This is easy to see with products or physical items like a car, a purse or a trip to Hawaii. The price for these is some amount of money. But this truth extends beyond physical items to include things like a talent or non-tangible accomplishment. To be an Olympian, a rock star or a mom with ten children (don't laugh, this was my mother's dream since she was a girl... and yes, she realized this goal) -all these come with a cost. There is a price to pay for things we consider negative: if we spend hours on end doing nothing but wathching social media, smoking marijuana or just wasting time with friends for hours on end... while these may be fun and may not infringe on anyone's freedoms, they also come with a price. Countless adults who thought their college drinking habits only cost the money to buy the alcohol will tell you how much their drinking cost them in terms of jobs, marriages, and lost opportunities. Their are sometimes steep prices to pay for the activities we decide to pursue. The trick is a little forsight, some short-term sacrifices for long-term benefits, some conception of what is morally good and a healthy does of honest introspection.... all critical components of character. The story of John D. Rockefeller, the richest man in the world, is both a warning that the price we pay for what we want may be too high as well as a reminder that it is never too late to change and make a difference in the world. In both cases, the tragic and the redemptive, there are prices to pay. The question is: which result is worth our efforts and the price?
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    18 Min.
  • Not by Accident: Praising the Meal Maker -Episode 17

    Not by Accident: Praising the Meal Maker -Episode 17
    Jan 15 2025
    To take things for granted is human nature (especially from those we know the most). To begin to expect things from others (becoming entitled) is likewise in our nature. And both of those are ugly qualities that will harm and eventually kill relationships. When is the last time you not only expressed gratitude for the person who makes your meals but heaped praise and compliments on them? Mothers (sometimes fathers) will make you thousands of meals in your lifetime, will wash tons of clothes, drive you thousands of milles to places you want to go. What is in it for them? Usually a lot of complaints and attitude.... until they decide they don't want to do it any more and our lack of appreciation drives a wedge of resentment in the relationship. But what if it was the opposite? What if we returned every meal with genuine praise and, imagine this, some reciprocal gesture of care and affection (like cleaning up the kitchen or washing our own dishes without being asked)? At minimum the meal maker would find motivation if not joy and pleasure in continuing to provide their service for an appreciative audience.
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    9 Min.
  • Not by Accident: Time to put on the Pants -Episode16

    Not by Accident: Time to put on the Pants -Episode16
    Jan 5 2025
    What is the process by which we can become people of character? Each person has the same 24 hours in each day. In fact life is a series of cyclical events: sun up to sundown happens every 24 hours. Every 7 days is another week. One revolution around the sun is a year... and we start some things over. But hopefully we are not in the same place, we are not the same person every time the earth goes around the sun or even every 24 hours when the sun comes up and goes back down. Hopefully we have gotten better over this series of cycles.

    To help recognize our growth, and likely to encourage our maturity as contributing members of society and people of character, almost every community has "rites of passage" to recognize siginficant times in life when a person transitions from one stage to the next. Most often this is from childhood to being an adult. Bar/Bat mitzvas, quinceanera, graduations, marriages and even retirement parties are examples of such rites. These are public celebrations of individual accomplishments.

    An important question to ponder is where am I in my development through all these cycles (daily, monthly, yearly, etc.), particularly as it pertains to becoming a better person and developming character. The passage of time is not the qualifier. Plenty of people simply waste their time in a state of stagnation and ease. Am I pushing my limits, growing, expaning my capacity even if it is uncomfortable. Improvement always comes at a price and requires sacrifice.

    This episode contains a story as related by Maria Baer and John Stonestreet on the BreakPoint podcast (aired on May 10, 2024).
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    8 Min.
  • Not by Accident: Joy at Christmas and in Life -Episode15

    Not by Accident: Joy at Christmas and in Life -Episode15
    Dec 24 2024
    Is joy in giving or receiving? Where Christmas is concerned, children will definitely say it is in the receiving. Adults and maturing teens will likely feel otherwise. While this is evident at Christmas, it is more true, although more difficult, in our lives every day. To give of ourselves, our talents and our time, to make another's life easier or to lift someone who is carrying a heavy burden; to set aside our own wants or needs and place others ahead of ourselves; to give... that is the secret of life. In the end, we either take from life, we consume, we accumulate as much as we can OR we can have an experience like Gary from Long Island (in this experience from the Dennis Prager show).
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    5 Min.
  • Not by Accident: Being Good and Working at It -Episode 14

    Not by Accident: Being Good and Working at It -Episode 14
    Dec 12 2024
    Children, teenagers and adults all spend time thinking and working toward "what they want to be when they grow up". While being a good teacher, a good dentist, a good salesperson or a good business owner is important, it is infinitely more important to grow up and be good. Society won't fall apart because we don't have a enough good accountants or actors but it will if we gon't have a critical mass of good people. One challenge is that people are rarely naturally good, kind, generous, honorale... pick your virtue. We have to practice these through deliberate choice and hard work. In fact we have to identify some negative traits or character deficiencies and work at turning these weaknesses into their opposites. A lazy person can become someone who tirelessly spends their time working on projects, improving themself or serving others. It takes deliberate action and does not happen by accident. This episode features a personal reflection by Dennis Prager (see www.Pragertopia.com) that he shared on the Dennis and Julie podcast.
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    6 Min.
  • Not by Accident: One Person at a Time -Episode 13

    Not by Accident: One Person at a Time -Episode 13
    Dec 1 2024
    We've got it all wrong. In a world of "likes", "followers" and fame, we falsely think the more people like or hear us, the more important we are. We think meaning comes from the number of people who are paying attention to us. And everything around us--from scientific studies to our own personal experience--says that relationships (the ones that matter) are made with individuals. We feel it and it resonates with us when one person takes time and gives 100% of their time and attention to us. That communicates: "you are more important to me than anything or anyone else, you matter, I care about YOU." How many famous people feel utterly alone? How many wealthy people would give all their money to have one person who deeply cares, listens and loves them? We do not form connections with masses of distant, nameless cheering crowds or "followers". Our most cherished, our deepest and the most meaning ful connections are with a handful of individuals. Parents, spouse, brothers or sisters and children. These are the individuals who take care of us; who would sacrifice everything for us. These are the relationships that people hunger for. Those who understhand the power of 1 on 1 connection and relationship can expand their influence to bless others. But in this busy world the two things more difficult and more valuable to give than money is our time and our undivided attention. If you can master this quality, your influence can be limitless.
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    8 Min.
  • Not by Accident: Being Grateful -Episode12

    Not by Accident: Being Grateful -Episode12
    Nov 16 2024
    Being grateful--feeling and expressing gratitude--is a quality that has an impact on so many other virtues and the general wellbeing of your life. There does not exist a happy, content and grounded person who is not grateful. And it is not the amount of stuff, friends or comforts we possess that make a person grateful. In fact those with much are often some of the most ungrateful people in the world while those with very little are the most grateful for what they have. And therfore also the happiest. I think we all know people who seem to have everything including wealth, fame, and things but who are miserable. It sounds ironic but it is a sad truth about human nature. Many of us have grown up since childhood enjoying life at the height of human civili\zation. We simply don't know any different and that is dangerous because it blinds us to the way life has been for most people for thousands of years and even today. There are millions who will go to bed hungry and now know where there next meal will come. There are other millions who will not sleep in a bed or in a home they can call their own. Many young boys will have to work to help support their family and many girls are not even allowed to go to school and obtain an education. So many of us have so much to be thankful for, and we don't even realize it.

    Story from the Dennis Prager Radio Show (www.Pragertopia.com) on Sept. 13, 2024
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    7 Min.