I really wanted to love this book, but I’m left with such mixed feelings

I almost wish I had stopped reading halfway through. The first half was incredibly insightful—I felt seen, as if I was reading my own story. The skating journey, the well-known biases in the skating world, struggles with eating disorders, stress fractures, malnutrition, mental health struggles, and even SA—it all resonated so deeply. It felt raw, real, and understood.

But unfortunately after Part Four, things took a disappointing turn. The narrative became riddled with contradictions: complaining about one thing and then doing the exact same thing. There was an overall lack of responsibility taken and surprisingly little compassion for those in her inner circle who were struggling with similar mental health challenges, albeit in different ways.
The focus shifted too much to her as the “main character,” especially with the inclusion of the suicide note. Then later stories, and messages that seemed to center on how wonderful people think she is - which has space - but felt more self-congratulatory than reflective of the broader issues she raised earlier in the book. She also criticized the lack of opportunities for mature women in the sport, yet laughed off and rejected offers when they did come. Many of her points felt contradictory and hard to understand.

It’s clear Gracie is still on her healing journey—and healing takes time. Her refusal to acknowledge or accept help stood out. Her persistent right hip pain seems strongly connected to stored trauma and suppressed emotions. Yet rather than listening to the help being offered, she reacts with frustration, rejecting the support that she once craved. Trauma lives in the body, manifesting through physical injuries, and unless she works through her inner anger and resentment, I fear these injuries will persist. Part of healing is recognizing that even parents and authority officials are human - they make mistakes and do the best they can with the resources they are given, they literally don’t know any better and have learnt everything they know from previous generations. To be able to accept this and let go of expectations and anger tied to past experiences, is how to move forward with healing. Perhaps seeking out an energy worker or emotions therapist will allow her to accept her feelings and heal her inner child, and also protect her from transferring these old beliefs and teachings onto her students.

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